Immortal orchid

I'm an orchid killer. Like, serial.

When it comes to flowers, I prefer real. And when it comes to bathroom flora, I prefer orchids. Alas, our bathroom has no window to allow for natural light upon these delicate creatures. I can't even keep them alive in broad daylight for heaven's sake; let's not even ponder how they'd fare under artifical light.

On my hunt for a faux orchid (*gasp!* Hers aren't real?! We're still talking about orchids right?) I realized that a lot of them are atrocious. The blooms too waxy, the arrangement too ornate, the price--well, I might as well get real ones and just keep replacing them.

So that is how I found myself in our kitchen, staring at floral supplies from Michael's. Cue the flashbacks of sitting at the table with my juice and dumplings, watching my mother arrange silk flowers in a vase (Hey, I'm part Chinese. We didn't get cookies as an afterschool snack. We got delicious homemade dumplings made with love and a threat that we better eat them or we were taking them to school in our lunchboxes and would have to face the the stares from all the other kids who were munching on PB & J.).

I don't like the moss I chose, so it's back to the store for more realistic moss.

I wanted it to be as life-like as possible, so I used just one stem. I also noticed that real orchids are usually tethered to a bamboo reed or a stick to help anchor it. So, armed with this knowledge and Google images, I created The Immortal Orchid for our soon-to-be-finished bathroom.
(Immortal? What? *cranes neck* Is there a Cullen in the house?)

Total cost: ~$11 (already had the vase)
Am I totally tacky? Are we no longer blogosphere friends?


  1. Sometimes, you just gotta go 'faux'! I tlooks grgreat, and will make you smile a lot more than
    A. A dead orchid
    B. No orchid at all!

  2. Whoa, bad Saturday morning typing. It actualy looks 'great' (no stutter required!)

  3. This is the most timely post ever because I was having this debate with myself recently.

    I want an orchid in my bathroom but I'm certain I will kill it (and it will stain my marble). Considered doing a fake one but if I'm the only one who sees it - who am I kidding? So I just kept walking.

    But your version looks just as real as anything I've seen at the plant shoppe. If it makes you smile when your getting ready, who cares if its not exactly organic :) Looks great!

  4. Thanks for thinking it can pass for real, ladies!

    LOL, you do speak the truth, Rosie. Faux IS better than dead.

    MrsL~ I wrestled w/ that, too! Then I remembered that it's the only bathroom we have right now so it better look purdy. Then I thought, well crap, then anyone who uses the loo will know it's faux. Then, like you said, I decided I didn't care b/c it does make me smile =)

  5. I LOVE it. While I DO have a green thumb, I also appreciate the faux blooms from time to time. My hydrangea habit would get expensive if I permanently kept them fresh in our bedroom.

  6. Oooh, it's lovely. I have no problem with fake - if you can't have them naturally, feel free to wing it. And if you're going to fake it, fake it well.

    Your fake orchid is like an under the muscle silicone implant that feels real vs an over the muscle implant. I know, best compliment you've ever received.

  7. Don't worry - I have killed my share of orchids too! I'm just terrible with things like that.

    Your kitchen cabinets look great in that photo by the way :)

  8. First of all I am laughing so hard about your dumplings. DH is Lebanese and he always talks about how he was the weirdo in school with pita "sandwiches" and grape leaves -- be thankful your parents didn't shame you in public!

    I love the orchid -- I have faux grass in our loo. I dig it.

  9. Hahaha, I loved the dumplings story. Too funny.

    And of course you're not tacky for using fake! I think fake is fine!

    Says I, the one with carpet (decorated with bleached hair dye splotches) in one of her bathrooms. :D

  10. My mother has a green thumb. I do NOT. One time she wanted to give me a gift as congratulations for something--I can't even remember what it was now. Anyway, I am a quilter. She knows that. She got me an orchid. A real one. Freaked me out. Required care. Yikes. Why not give me something I could really not kill--you know, like a gift certificate to my favorite quilt store. I couldn't take the pressure--gave the orchid back to her. Bottom line: faux is fine.

  11. Girl....stop "trippin" is beautiful..

  12. When we lived in SF, one our freaky neighbors "cultivated" orchids. He was retired and did it full-time. It freaked me out about ever being able to do that myself. I have babies, not flowers. Yours are totally worth the effort and the money. I think it's great - something I could pull off. Thanks

  13. Your orchid looks lovely, it sure looks real to me. Its going to look great in your new bathroom, and most important, it's going to make you happy, that's all that matters.

  14. I love it...nothing tacky about it at all. And you can't beat the price!

  15. Looks great! I have a faux one atop a vintage secretary (actually, it made a bit of an appearance on my blog last week)'s one of the sort-of waxy ones you describe but it's high enough off the ground that you can't tell. :-)

  16. I think it looks amazing!! I agree that most faux-orchids look a little too waxy... but yours looks great.

    Plus, who can afford to even risk killing a real orchid? Those suckers are pricey! :)

  17. I am with you: fake orchid in the bathroom it totally OK. I also agree, it is REALLY hard to find a good fake. I couldn't believe I found some at Target, of all places. The only other place I'd ever seen good ones is in Hawaii. I now have fakes in my own bathroom. (See my post on master bath mirror.) Great job DIY.

  18. Can I join the club? I cannot keep an orchid alive at ALL! I'm all for faux orchids in the bathroom and your project looks like the real thing! Counting down the days until the unveiling of your fabulous bathroom!

    P.S. Love the dumpling story! :) Mmmm... *****dumplings***** ala Homer Simpson! :)

  19. I won't tell your secret. I've actually been looking for some silk Hydrengeas, but not sure I want to pay $9 for one bloom. Oh the struggle.

    Take care,

  20. Oh, just enjoy it. We don't mind. And remember, you can always put a beautiful cut botanical leaf in there too, to mix it up. They seem to last and last and look really pretty.

  21. orchids are so hard to grow!!! i am good w/ houseplants and somehow they say orchids are easy but now for me. anyways - i think yr faux is fabulous.

  22. Don't sweat it, the other day I had someone over my house tell me they thought mine was fake! I'm like the horror- after all my hard work, I shoulda' just bought a fake one...It looks great!

    PS-To bad there were no immortals in the house- crushin' on the Cullens! LOL ;)

  23. lol at is there a cullen in the house? If there was, I'd be on the first plane to visit.

    For real.

    I like the orchid.I have no issue with fake flora. I think you done good. -=)

  24. I think it looks great. In fact, when I was at Michael's this weekend, they had some beautiful ones that looked just like this, for sale that must have been the project for last month's class. I had to double-take on them to make sure they weren't real.
    I also now want one for our powder room in the new house.

  25. I love orchids, fake or real!

  26. Hey! Wanted to let you know I gave you and your blog a shout out on my blog tonight. I took your lead on making a fake Orchid Arrangement. Thanks for the inspiration!


Let's get weird up in here.
~Freckles Chick~