Again....and again....

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To be honest, I feel trivial blogging about design, holiday decor, & our life's sweet moments without acknowledging all that's going on with the world & our nation.

We were prepping for Quinn's birthday party to take place the next day when the Mr. happened to glance at his phone.  Upon seeing what had ripped thru Paris, he shakily exhaled & the words "Oh no, not again." escaped before he could carefully edit his reaction for Quinn's benefit.  When she asked what happened....he & I glanced at each other as parents so often do when trying to explain weighty things to their child.  We very much believe in giving honest answers while still guarding her innocence.  

I somberly said that a lot of people were hurt by some people who did a terrible thing in a city called Paris.  "Did people die?" Quinn asked (we've been gently navigating the topic of death lately as she has asked about our good old dog Hiro, who passed away a few years ago).  

Our words, meant to reassure, flew at her.  "Oh honey.....yes. We're safe though, we don't want you to worry."  "And there are lots of very brave, good people helping the people in Paris right now."

She searched my tired eyes with her bright hazel ones.  Sometimes, in between her goofy-wildness, I get glimpses of an old soul.  "It's nice that there's brave people there & that they're good to each other." she finally said.  And that was that.

I agreed emphatically, silently relieved that she didn't have more questions we would probably have to answer with "I don't know why these things happen, honey."

And here we are again....those souls lost in San Bernardino.  And Colorado Springs last week.  And on and on and on it goes......like a sick, nightmarish list.  

I'd be pretending if I didn't say this: the fear of our times flits thru my mind when the lights go down in a theatre, or when I pass a police officer, or when I board a plane, or when I squeeze Quinn tight before I leave her classroom every day.

But in this particular moment with Quinn, I was struck by how her four year-old mind sifted thru our words.  How she chose to focus on the good & the brave.  Isn't this what we all strive to do in these times?  To not let fear take over?  That despite the darkness, we can choose to remember that there are still far more people who are good & brave in this world.  There is still love & light & humanity.

However, when Quinn does ask "Why? Why doesn't it stop?", I just won't be able to have an answer for my girl.

{Thank you for reading, friends.}

20 comments:

  1. So beautifully written. My daughter-in-law and I were just discussing the very same thing this morning.

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    1. Thanks for reading, friend :-) In a strange way, it's comforting to talk to our loved ones about these tumultous times, isn't it?
      Lots of love to you.

      PS. I'm belated on this but congratulations on all your published pieces!!!

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  2. Ohmygosh, yes...it's so so hard to curb the emotions in front of our kids, too! S brought it up out of nowhere the other night when I was putting her to bed, 'Can the ISIS people get to us in our house?' My answer was so cliche, but all I had to comfort her! And me! Darling Q...love her and her mama!!! xo

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    1. Cliche answers are sometimes the best answers! Comforting for them AND us :-)
      Love you & Sloany.
      xo

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  3. Thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt post. I'm out of words... the atrocities are just piling up...

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    1. Thank you for reading, Liz. The times we are living in render me speechless. Some times there are just no words....

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  4. Thank you for sharing your heart on this page FC. I too have fielded those questions lately. Can I say that I think of you and of friends and family often, who live but a few hours south but what sometimes seems like a world away in daily reality? But fear has crept in into all of our lives in ways big and small. I've found that to combat it I've had to put more kindness back in my own life. In the last few weeks, I've gone back to help a lost boy who at first shooed me away. I've fixed a broken sign on the off chance it might hurt someone walking by. I've been more charitable and kind and patient. While outwardly that is good, I've done it selfishly for me. To remind myself that goodness starts at home, with each person I encounter and each good thought I put out in the world. I wish you (and all of us) peace this season.

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    1. It doesn't surprise me at all that you're a good samaritan, my friend. Whether you do it for yourself initially or not, I strongly believe in the power of kindness & its domino effect! Good on you, J. Even a smile to a stranger is a good thing. Maybe that's why my face hurts by dinner time ;-)

      Thank you SO much for thinking of us in the U.S. I thank our stars that nothing like what happened in Ottawa has repeated up north for you all. Sending you lots of love!

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  5. I feel exactly the same - i feel hopeless and want to wrap my little family up in an airtight bubble . . . your words and hers were beautiful and showing our children love, kindness. giving, and empathy is what we can do as parents to raise strong beautiful souls that will grow up to somehow help this world turn back to peace and love

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    1. Some days I want to wrap our family up in a bubble, too, & not go anywhere! Life needs to be lived though right? Thank you for reading & for your encouraging words, E :-) You said it so eloquently...if we can raise our children in that way, we as parents are doing our part for humanity.

      Hope you all are on the mend!
      xo

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  6. It's a hard conversation, that is for certain. My work was shut down one day this week because of a threat of a mass shooting - I tried to make sure my 7 year old didn't see the news but unfortunately it made the national news. Her response to me was "Mama, I don't want you to go to work because you might die" - I had to walk away and cry because I don't want to have a conversation with my 7 year old about death, let alone that it could happen at my place of employment and I certainly don't want her to worry every time I go to work. Such a sad state of affairs we live in right now.

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    1. Oh mama. It is so heartbreaking to even imagine conversations like this with our children. I am so sorry you had such a real, terrifying experience happen at your workplace :-( Parenting brings enough anxiety & worries; the times we live in make me question so many things that keep me up at night. You are not alone in this!

      Wishing you a safe, peaceful, & merry holiday :-)
      xo

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  7. Beautifully written. Hugs, friend.

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    1. Thank you so much, friend. Hope you're all settling into your current digs. Merry merry to you & yours!
      xo

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  8. If everyone had the heart of a child. xoxo

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    1. Truth. Sending you all smooches & hugs. Extra ones for Townes!
      xo

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  9. Such a thoughtful post. Counting our blessings and giving thanks!

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  10. Sorry I just now am reading this. Took some much needed time off. Celebrating and holding tight to my girls the past few weeks, knowing our circumstances could have been so different that fateful night 6 months ago. It does make one stop and ponder what is going on in our crazy world. I often wonder what I would say to one of the littles I teach should certain questions arise. I am glad it is in a Christian setting, as it makes my answer a bit easier I think. Still hard however.

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Let's get weird up in here.
xoxo
~Freckles Chick~